do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize