also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
A bitchslap is in order.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
