She said her name was "party"
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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