There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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