I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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