We're facebook friends in real life
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
