it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
That accounts for only three of the penises
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
