you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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