Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize