look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
