i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
