party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
too bad you live with your parents still
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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