Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
