i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
