If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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