oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize