Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
