why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
