so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
