You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
