i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
