This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize