What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize