his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
