i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
