whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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