I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
