im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
