Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
zippers are such a cool invention
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sex in the backyard? Check.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
