forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
