I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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