I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
