i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
