So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
