I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't put those talents on a resume
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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