If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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