A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
