her vagina looked like bernie madoff
lets start a swedish sibling band together
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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