Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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