I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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