i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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