textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
