Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
