i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
