went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
