Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
