it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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