We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
