Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
