Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
