I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he was CRYING into my vagina
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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