the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize