She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
