R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
