Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
