Having a random hookup so left but love u
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
