I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
