Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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