she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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