you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
