it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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